Sunday Funnies: Scribe for Hire

It’s no doubt that Oprah has been a great benefactor to many a writer through her book club; but it wasn’t until writer Brett Lott started calling her “The Source” that I realized–hey, more writers need to seek out this type of benefactor! Made me want my own “source.” Often my fiction-writing friends and I get together, and after an evening of PBR’s and ranting, we end up with the same conclusion: I guess I just need to write that bestseller! Of course, that’s often slurred and ridiculously stated, at which point I follow up with “Yeah! I’m gonna write a poetry bestseller!” Then everyone falls into laughter while I consider ways to promote poetry to the populace. I realize now, what I truly need is an old school benefactor–someone who supports the arts, one writer at a time–a benefactor who thinks it important to give unfettered time to writers without having them starve; oh yeah, and someone who is filthy filthy rich. All I’d ask for is a small little salary per year–with full medical and dental benefits, of course–and a place to live! In return, not only would this person be supporting the arts, but I could be at this individual’s beck and call. Imagine Angelina Jolie calling me up: “Hey Kirsten, Brad’s birthday is coming up. Could you write a little something for me to share at the dinner party?” Sounds like a sweet gig to me.