
THE INTRO-RATIONALE
Today is National Pigeon Day. One must celebrate! Because of their iridescence, their cooing and their regarding of humans from alternating sides of the head. (Have you ever tried it? It’s full of affectionate suspicion. Or suspicious affection. Affable soup??on! Whatever it is, I love and recommend it.)
MUSICAL INTERLUDE
Probably you will want to spend the day practicing singing “Feed the Birds (Tuppence a Bag).” Luckily, a version with subtitles exists. Prefer to sing about pigeons in German? No problem.
PERSONAL ANECDOTE
When I was 10 or so, visiting family in England, we went to Trafalgar Square to feed the birds, and one promptly shat on my head. Not from high above–it actually landed on my head and let loose. I admired its boldness. I would like to write a poem in that spirit.
IDENTIFICATION
Oh it can be difficult! Even for the geniuses among us:
Pigeons on the grass alas.
Pigeons on the grass alas.
Short longer grass short longer longer shorter yellow grass. Pigeons large pigeons on the shorter longer yellow grass alas pigeons on the grass.
If they were not pigeons what were they.
REBUTTAL
James Thurber objects!:
It is neither just nor accurate to connect the word alas with pigeons. Pigeons are definitely not alas. They have nothing to do with alas and they have nothing to do with hooray (not even when you tie red, white, and blue ribbons on them and let them loose at band concerts); they have nothing to do with mercy me or isn’t that fine, either. White rabbits, yes, and Scotch terriers, and blue-jays, and even hippopotamuses, but not pigeons. I happen to have studied pigeons very closely and carefully, and I have studied the effect, or rather the lack of effect, of pigeons very carefully. A number of pigeons alight from time to time on the sill of my hotel window when I am eating breakfast and staring out the window. They never alas me, they never make me feel alas; they never make me feel anything.
HOORAY
Pigeons have everything to do with hooray. They never make me never feel anything. They are to avoid a great sadness. I do not understand a love of an absence of pigeons. Even David Berman cannot convince me.
RESOURCEFULNESS
Pigeons are resourceful. If by chance you are not surrounded by pigeons, you should go ahead and make some yourself.
