In my post last week, I may have given the impression that I found nothing of worth in the Republican National Convention. This is not true. I found two things of worth, and this week would like to share one of those things: the ending.
Surely you remember the convention’s climactic ending. John McCain and Sarah Palin on the stage, drawstrings in hand? Surely you joined convention attendees in your anticipation. What would fall from the ceiling when the drawstrings were tugged? Would it be balloons? Rubber novelty excrement? Styrofoam peanuts gloriously impervious to decomposition?
And then the drawstrings were pulled.
Down from the rafters unfurled the emormous banner:
And how delicious the surprise! Seriously, did any of the loyal conservatives in attendance truly think any of that week’s ceremony was done in earnest (with the exception, of course, of the defenestration of the evolutionist)? No! It was a weeklong joke, a slow motion sitting down on a whoopie cushion, and this was its punchline, its terminal Bronx cheer:
JUST KIDDING
Perfect!
I was reminded of the RNC finale yesterday while reading Manny Karkowsky’s new chapbook, Ice Cream Amnesia. Just out from Emily Toder’s Nor By Press, Ice Cream Amnesia is a beautiful letterpress production. It’s also one of the best pieces of short fiction I’ve read in a while, with comedy to rival American conservatism.
A short excerpt:
Remember when that guy came up to you and was like let’s have sex and you were like I’m not gay and the guy was like I’m a girl and then you were like I don’t have sex with strangers from the street and then the person was like you know me I’m your wife we’ve been married for fifteen years and we have three kids and a house over there near the ice cream store and you were like I really like that ice cream store, the ice cream there is real creamy and she was like yeah that’s why we bought the house so you could have creamy ice cream every day. And you were like, that was a great idea, I do love ice cream. And she was like wasn’t that nice of me to let us move there even though ice cream gives you amnesia.
It’s a short excerpt because the book’s short, and I’m no spoiler. The story goes on, surprise scooped atop surprise, and ends in a sewer. Highly recommended for those on both sides of the aisle. For more info, click here, or direct correspondence thisaway: Nor By Press, 55 Walnut St. Northampton, MA 01060.