To make of my life a serial of doors
To gradually reduce my tolerance for freeze
To pass from zone 5a to 6a to 8b to 10a yet
Still bear hands cold from technology
Every night before bed
And in the scarcely orange dawn, a 6:30 apprehension
No matter the time stamp of sleep
To watch in the blue glow
Circles around the body tighten year after year
To be unchecked on
And unchecking
To go back down there, now external, a specter
Of history not quashed but quiescent: a speck
In the charged dirt of a frozen field
To photograph the field
To receive seven hearts as comment yet silence
Re personal transmission
To picture every moment as a site of surveillance, blue glow
An auric egg around the sweet nights
And the concealed
To observe the self flickering in the mind of the beloved
To decline a coherent eye
To watch the light faintly glimmer from
A crack around the door
To open it and exit the fairy tale
The woods’ gloamy sprawl, hallucinatory reach, network of the absent cantering inside
To have never seen lurking
Or coming toward me, shadow long
Old danger
Empty new life