Mindful

jammed my airspace w/ an audible.com podcast 
& to-do list Deborah lent me this pen better 
make use of turn off it filled up inside dear friends 
[swipe again] invite me to Brooklyn [swipe 
again] I briefly [GO] hate them am rush rush & 
rushing headphones never let me airways 
I run & the running [GPS: average time] 
[activity started] [GPS: per mile] then a snow- 
storm no school I cried & said Mayor Bloomberg 
should be scalded with hot cocoa when someone said 
yay for snow I'm cutting it too close, Erin, if 
a blizzard makes me [too slow swipe again] 
cry I used to [activity started] long for snow 
that quiet filling everything up what is time for 
anyway? Jeremy says It's funny how [Too Slow] 
[same turnstile] 'work' in your poems is a metaphor 
for [Go] [Go] [Go] [Go] [Go] 'free time' [same 
turnstile] 'free time' what's that? is it NY? What 
are you talking about? asks Erin, Seriously what 
are you talking about? [1 X-fer] [total time] [average 
time] [GO GO GO GO] crammed in the tiny bed 
Still I say If you want me to stay, you need to lie still 
the toddler tries why? must he? [X-fer] [X-fer] 
[all service on the local track] fall asleep fast I pray 
to whom? [1 X-fer OK] is this what I was  
waiting for: the one nap moment of silence? 
if that's what I wanted should have made other 
don't you think choices? What do you mean 
by 'dark'? asks Erin What do you mean by 'intolerable'? 
'unhinged? airways [GO] I give one son 
a quarter for two or fewer complaints a day 
& none for more the pediatrician confirms 
they each have two testicles then shoots 
the smallest boy in the arm that was the easiest 
part of my day [X-fer OK] [OK] [OK] [GO] stroller 
is it the lack of human [X-fer] contact? oh 
please have no time for that got to go to sleep 
by 10 p.m. or I'm up all night something about 
circadian rhythms then it's toddler-early-waking 
Still night! we tell him Not time timing time Not 
time to wake up! we tell him Go back he won't 
we're up it's dark is it too early to make lunch 
or dinner? What are you saying? texts Erin Can't 
talk I text back but want to say [X-fer] to ask 
why is this life so run-run-run I run only thing 
I can—free wasted time—control? long 
underground F the train crosstown bus that 
screaming is my son with his 50 small feet 
kicking Too slow bus! screaming Meredith says 
The breath is the only thing in your life that 
takes care of itself does it? [too fast] [same 
turnstile] Rebecca wanted us to do something 
radical at this reading I don't have time did 
wash my hair lifestyle choice I know time 
isn't 'a thing you have' I meant to ask isn't there 
some way, Erin, to get more not time but joy? 
she's not home maybe running or at the grocery 
or school [X-fer] can you anyone hear me? my 
signal pen airway failed Deborah lent me 
this one GPS time left or time left—two 
meanings—I've forgotten to oh! left my urgh! 
meat in the freezer or oven on so what? don't 
make dinner—ha ha who will? the military?— 
don't rush multi-stop stop checking the tiny 
devices brain sucking the joy out here's the 
[too fast] [swipe again] [OK] express