My therapist has studied the normal, and I have come up
wanting. Wanting. My son’s first act was to crawl to my breast.
To turn your head from milk is to die. My therapist waits for me
to concede. I concede, “I am not normal.”
Yesterday I stuffed ripe peach into my mouth until it ran
down my neck. When I drink you, I drink until
I choke, then drink more. My therapist warns, “They want you dead.”
By “they” he means “I.” My son leaps from the couch, expecting
to be caught. I have promised him everything. I lurch to him
with open arms. Despite my best efforts, his skin has white cracks
where it has broken and come together. My therapist smiles
and waits for me to speak, but he has already told me
how to be woman, which is silent, smiling back. Today they killed
a student in Bangladesh for reporting her harasser. How?
Kerosene, on the roof of her school. There is not enough silence
for all the women in the world to crowd inside.
My son was born, and I lost all obedience. I met you,
and every part of me not mother was desire.
Let them clear the forests for my pyre. Am I screaming or singing?
No, I am cramming my face as they journey out
with their shimmering saws. If they’re going to kill me,
I want my belly full.
